11/8/24

Pre-surgery fashion

Hi all,

Thanks so much for all the love, support, prayers and well wishes. We definitely are lifted so much by those, and I'm, again, reminded about the strength found in community. And we are so, so grateful to be part of such wonderful communities.

This past week has been busy trying to get things done so that we could meet the scheduled chemotherapy start on Monday. And I think we've done it!

The PET scan on Monday confirmed the course of treatment, highlighting the liver tumors. It also showed "micronodules" in my lungs, which initially gave me a good scare. But, after talking with the doctors, these are so small so as to not to be of concern. Just keep an eye on them basically.

I had an EKG on Thursday to make sure my heart was ready for chemo. Based on that report, they will tune the chemo regimen.

And Stacey and I went to the chemo education session yesterday with a really wonderful nurse practitioner named Kathy who's been in cancer care for 30 years. Side note: If you ever start to doubt humanity, 1) take a social media break, and 2) remember there are Kathy's all over the place. Anyway, she was another one of those little angels that pop up in this experience - we learned about all the drugs, but also talked about parenting through cancer (she also has two kids), and had some overlapping experiences/connections from my Baylor Hospital cancer treatment days too.

This chemo regimen will take about 4 hours per visit, and then they send me home with a pump that will continue to administer some more chemo for another 48 hours. If you see me sporting a styling fanny pack, that's the pump!

I remember the education session from my mid-twenties version of all this. As I was chatting with my sister, we discussed how different it is having an idea of what you are getting into. Ignorance was bliss in that first go round, plus I was a single dude. Definitely had a pit in my stomach this time as they talked through some of the side effects of the drugs. Did my fair share of puking in the mid-90's approach to chemo, but supposedly the anti-nausea stuff is better now and more proactive. Again, working hard to breathe my way through those anxieties, and get present. Always praying for presence.

Lastly, got to St David's in downtown Austin this morning at 5:30am(!) for a 7:30 surgery to get my port put in. See photo for the stylish hospital wear - might try this at the next casual day at work. These ports are super common now in cancer treatment, so you are probably familiar. Basically it allows for easier access to administer the drugs, and also feeds the drugs into a much larger vein...lower risks of the drugs going into surrounding tissue vs just using a normal IV.

It was a bit of a sprint, but checked all the necessary things off to be able to start chemo first thing Monday morning. It's been one hell of a ride since Oct 21 when my oncologist first told me something might be not right as my tumor markers had spiked. After a long nap this afternoon, aside from mild pain from the surgery, I feel pretty damn good. That's a testament to: community; all the love y'all have sent my way; to Stacey who is the best partner I could ever ask for in life and especially in this moment; to a lot of experiences that have prepared me to be better in the hard parts of this; and to having a plan and great team of experts doing their damndest to make me healthy.

Many of you knew my Mom. I miss her always, but definitely missing her quite a bit these days. Another little gift from cancer - putting my Mom on my mind quite a bit. And I've been getting these lovely little reminders that she is right alongside me as always. All that reminds me and I'm reminding you to hug your people tightly...like right now or real soon!

On my to-do list: be better at finding and appreciating the Kathy's around me, relax, get a lot of outside time and maybe some walks with friends, get some good hang time with Stacey, and level up my normal goofball play with my kids.

That's it for now! So much gratitude and love for each of you...

Matt

PS Sorry and maybe not sorry for the long read....writing has always been a bit of therapy for me!