12/21/24

Hi all,

Hard to believe it's almost the end of the year already. Christmas in a few days? Geez.

So far, we have knocked out 3 chemo sessions, and definitely a team effort. We have also moved more fully into the functional medicine work too, which is certainly involved. While the oncology is meant to slow, stop, and ultimately eliminate the cancer cells, our functional medicine work is designed to improve the capacity of my body to heal itself at a cellular level. (That's the 50,000 foot summary!)

And some early data is promising! The graph I've included (I'm collecting a lot of data to track stuff) is from my CEA lab work, which correlates to the level of cancer in my system, sometimes called the tumor markers. One of the more urgent goals was to slow down an aggressively expanding cancer. And everything we are doing shows some good promise based on the change in the CEA data!

The October spike to 6.81 was what let us know something was up, and it continued going up from there. And, since we started chemo and the rest of our healing work, those numbers have come down quite a bit! It can be frustrating to be doing all this stuff without knowing its efficacy, so these numbers offer a nice testament to the work we are putting in, the prayers and positive thoughts, the community support, and the intention with which we are approaching this. So we are celebrating this, AND it offers motivation when things are a little challenging.

I'm so lucky to have the best of friends, family, and community checking in with me. And I think it's really shifted the common opening - "how ya doing?" I try to answer that honestly these days, and maybe I'd encourage you to do the same if you don't already.

And the answer for me is that it depends on the hour you catch me. I was answering it by the day, but realized that my day can be quite varied by the hour. Catch me mid-morning and I might feel somewhat normal (though I'm fairly confident I don't know where "normal" is anymore) and maybe even energized and a little fired up.

And there are some hours where I've gone beyond what my body/energy/mood allowed, and I'm just feeling flu-like, short-tempered, with zero motivation to do much of anything.

And everything in between.

That's my honest answer. What I'm working on is just trying to be right where I'm at, not get too spun up about it, be grateful for a body that's doing its damndest to heal, and just be honest with what is right for that hour. That might be a walk with the dog (in this glorious weather) and it might be a nap.

My next chemo would normally fall on Monday BUT that would not allow them to disconnect my pump on Christmas day when the office is closed. So I get this coming holiday week OFF. That's one helluva gift. So a little reprieve for more healing, and then back for the next chemo on New Year's Eve. (New Year's Eve parties were always a let-down anyway.)

I'm super grateful for community these days, and all the overlapping communities that I've been part of in my life. The gratitude for those communities, and all they pour into me, is truly overwhelming and brings me to tears often these days.

Wishing for you a whole lot of community, rest, and whatever you might need this holiday. Love your people well. Just to say it again...this ain't no dress rehearsal. Actually stop, pause, and drink in those good moments, even the small ones (or especially the small ones) this holiday.

Merry Christmas,Matt

PS...in the spirit of appreciating the good things, I"m including some art from my niece, Sarah, who is in high school and just a ridiculously talented artist. Enjoy! AND... a pic with my good friend Lee Pool from some music-making today. Lee's unique ability to nail the groove on the bass is only overshadowed by how caring, generous, and consistent he is as a friend.