2/24/25

Howdy all.

It was a chemo day for me today, so I got loaded up with the usual sauce. I felt pretty good for most of last week, and again felt strong headed into today’s chemo. Good stuff.

Prior to chemo, I met with the oncologist this morning, and we were able to discuss the results of my midpoint CT scan from last Thursday. In summary…GOOD NEWS!

There are no new lesions/tumors anywhere in the lungs or liver, which is a good sign. The already tiny spots on the lungs were even smaller, and the larger ones on the liver have decreased in size, which is a sign that all the things we are doing are having the desired effect! They index off the largest tumor on the liver, which is now half the size it was when we began. This is what we wanted to see, so definitely celebrating that!

The plan for now is to continue with the six more rounds of chemo. The oncologist is going to meet with my surgeon to evaluate when a possible liver surgery could happen in all that. As that conversation moves forward, we will think through all this with our full care team. As we have done from the beginning, just trying to look at the full picture and make the best decisions.

But for now…we are mainly just GRATEFUL for the progress!

Thanks for all your continued prayers, thoughts, check-in’s, etc. They have meant so much to us. I’m always thinking about community and its profound impact on us. I have felt the embrace that comes from a community riding with us on this adventure, supporting us with the hard parts of this. AND it’s a joy to be celebrating this good report with community too!

B

elow I’ll continue to share along a few deeper reflections as they help me check in with myself, and will also share in the event they offer up anything of use for others or stir up a conversation (which I'm always down for). If not interested, just pause here!

Three things happened this weekend that I’m still thinking about as it relates to community. The first was a gathering of a “homeroom” group at our house. The homeroom is an inter-generational group of folks, aged 9 to 80-something, from our wonderful church here in Austin (UUMC). We’ve known most of them for 15+ years and have been gathering at all our houses throughout that time. We’ve not been the most consistent with our church attendance for a range of reasons, but have stayed connected to this group. I learn so much from the models the folks in the group provide of how to be in this world.  

Each time we meet, we circle up and share along an update, which might be a celebration or a challenge. This time, it was clear that there were just some really hard things happening for folks. For some, perhaps some of the hardest moments in their lives. And, with those challenges still present, the gathering itself was also beautiful to me, providing this wonderful uplift as we each carry one another along on this adventure.

It's the deeply felt experience of your struggle is my struggle, and my struggle is yours. Your joy is my joy, and my joy is yours.

I think it matters so much to sit in a circle with people you love and trust, without any distractions, and to share at a deeper level than “how’s work going?”. I’m confident there’s a good reason that gathering in a circle has existed for thousands of years.

The second thing that happened relates to replacing a 50-foot section of deteriorating fence in my backyard. My stamina for this kind of work is less than normal, and I’ve learned the hard way to not push myself too far right now. So I put out a feeler to see who might be around to help out, and it worked out that my good friend in the neighborhood, Andy, was able to help this past weekend.

Andy, who might be the most capable homeowner I know, took on the project as his own, generously giving his resources, time, and deep engineering expertise (which has spared me many, many hours lost to mistakes). Andy is the one guy in the neighborhood who can, after buying an electric car, install his own 50-watt charging station. He’s operating on a whole other level of skill and knowledge.

It turns out that Andy has multiple robust projects going on to help out with multiple neighbors, but his vast expertise is not the primary reason for that. In what can sometimes feel like some really hard, polarizing challenges for our larger society, Andy is choosing to direct his energy and deep skill set toward being the best neighbor he can be.

I come back to this Richard Rohr quote often: “The best criticism of the bad is the practice of the better.”  That’s Andy for sure. Andy’s example reminds me to think about what I’m positioned to do to make things better vs only pointing at what’s wrong (which is important too). The homeroom gathering also felt like some good practicing of the better.  

The last thing that happened this weekend is Dad came into town again to help by taking me to chemo, taking kids to back and forth to various things, and running random errands for us. Dad has done this multiple times, jumping in to help how he can. And that’s just Dad – aside from being the perfect match of a Dad for me, he’s also a wonderful neighbor to many, just like Andy. Dad hasn’t met a stranger and jumps into help any chance he can.

Dad’s visits are also a time for us to connect. Losing Mom and our shared cancer experiences have stripped away any need to show up as anything other than our most authentic selves for one another. Life is too short to leave conversations unsaid, and I’m so grateful for those conversations with Dad. I’m better for them.

As so many have pointed out throughout history, maybe it all comes back to relationships and leaving things better than you found them. I have to remind myself when I ultimately look back on my life, I won’t give a $#&% about so many things that can consume my head and daily experience. Fortunately, I have the example set by all of you, our homeroom, Andy, and Dad to steer me in the right direction of better.

With much love and gratitude,

Matt